If you sit on your arse just waiting for lightning to strike out of the sky and give you the energy to push through even the toughest of challenges, you might be waiting for the next 10 / 15 / 30 years.
Stop waiting for some primal urge that shakes you off your arse and into action.
Just take action now.
You know you need to. You know that there’s never going to be enough theory in your head to make a difference. You know you need to get off your arse and start doing SOMETHING if you’re ever going to become the kind of Man you want to be.
So do it.
I don’t care what kind of excuses you have.
I don’t care about how hard your life is or what someone you’ll probably never see again might think about you.
Get. Up. Now.
Yes, you’ve got all these old habits that get you wondering what other people could be thinking about you.
Yes, you feel far more comfortable running away from fear rather than stepping towards it.
Yes, you’ve been practising these habits for a very long time.
BUT THEY’RE NEVER GOING TO CHANGE UNTIL YOU TAKE ACTION.
Stop waiting for motivation. Stop waiting for drive. Stop waiting for passion and desire and energy. Just get off your arse and do something.
Even going out and trying to get external validation would be more beneficial than sitting at home thinking about how much more internally validated you could be. At least you’re doing something with your life other than letting it waste away in front of the TV.
“But I need motivation!”
No, you don’t. You weren’t passionately driven to get dressed this morning. You weren’t passionately driven to check your email. You weren’t passionately driven to read this article. You weren’t passionately driven to watch TV. You just did it.
You just got off your arse and did something. All I’m telling you to do is keep going but actually do something useful!
Not sure what to do? Here’s a list of 50 things you could try:
2. Do 50 push-ups
3. Get in contact with three old friends
4. Ask a girl out on a date
5. Go for a run
6. Clean your room
7. Walk out of your house and talk to 5 strangers
8. Enrol in a new course
9. Do that thing you’ve been putting off for three months
10. Finish the housework
11. Do 50 sit-ups
12. Join a meetup group (http://www.meetup.com)
13. Drive 2 hours from your house to a place you’ve never been before and stay the night
14. Invite your mates around for an impromptu party
15. Build something out of wood
16. Cook a dish you’ve never cooked before
17. Visit a museum
18. Delete all the porn off your computer
19. Introduce yourself to your neighbours
20. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter
21. Take a dance class
22. Learn a musical instrument
23. Host a movie marathon
24. Go through your closet and donate anything you haven’t worn in a year to a second-hand store
25. Ride your bike
26. Write out a 5-year plan
27. Buy food for the homeless and listen to their stories
28. Tell 5 friends how much you appreciate them and why you appreciate them
29. Go bowling
30. Visit the local nursing home
31. Start an art project
32. Climb a tree
33. Create a vision board
34. Have a potluck dinner
35. Fly a kite
36. Compliment 5 women you’ve never met before
37. Write poetry or short story
38. Rent a canoe
39. Get a part-time job doing something you love
40. Plant your own vegetable garden
41. Go rock climbing
42. Go to a professional sporting event
43. Watch live music
44. Pretend to be a tourist in your own city and visit all the incredible things on your doorstep
45. Organise a garage sale with all your mates and get rid of anything that isn’t directly necessary for you to be happy (link to post about happiness)
46. Learn to surf
47. Clean out your garage
48. Go for a walk and say “Hi” to anyone you make eye contact with
49. Take an improvisational acting class
50. Perform at an open-mike night
Not sure which one of these to do? Choose the one that you have the most resistance to doing/that scares you the most.
That way, after doing it, everything else on the list will seem like a piece of cake.
If you’re a guy who’s been waiting for motivation before he does what he knows he needs to do and is willing to drop that game, write a list of 5 things you know you need to do and post it in the comments with a date you will have those 5 things done by.
Once you’ve posted it, get off your arse and do the first one immediately.
Prove to yourself just how much you can achieve, regardless of your level of motivation.
20 thoughts on “Stop Waiting For Motivation”
When you told me this, it literally changed everything, I realized that there are no excuses and there is no “right moment”, every moment is the right moment to take control of your life.
Awesome dude. You were one of the guys who inspired me to write this.
There are a lot of guys who know what they need to do but are waiting for some kind of lightning strike before they take action and then wondering why it never comes.
Great to hear it’s made a difference.
This article is simultaneously very good and very bad advice. Very good when you point out that you can’t wait around for motivation to strike. But very bad when you minimalize the issue by claiming the solution is to just get up and take action. It’s like telling someone with depression or personality disorders to “just shake it off”. The issue goes so much deeper. In order to really fix (or mitigate) the problem, you have to change the whole way you think and go about living your life. You have to rewire your brain, in essence. The guy whose brain is wired toward idleness can make himself take action a few times, but his brain is going to be screaming at him the whole time to head back to the couch. The real solution? The person who finds the answer may be the greatest hero in the history of mankind, but it hasn’t happened yet. A few have come up with hints at the solution, though. The concept of “rituals” put forth by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz in “The Power of Full Engagement” is huge. The reason you get up and get dressed and brush your teeth is that it is a ritual. The principle can be expanded to other areas of your life. It has made a dramatic impact on me.
Hey mate, you’re definitely right. I am, in no way, just claiming that the simple solution for everyone is for them to stand up and take action.
I hope that anyone who reads articles on this site take the article in context of all the content that’s written on the site as well as looking at their individual situation as well.
Is this idea relevant to everyone? No.
Are there a large group of guys who read this blog for who, the only thing that’s preventing them from living a far more rewarding and exciting life is that they’re sitting on their arse waiting for lightning to strike before they take action? Without a shadow of a doubt (evidence by the comment above).
But there’s something deeper I wanted to look at in your comment – This is idea that the guy who’s trained himself towards idleness finding his brain screaming at him.
I’m presuming that you’re one of these guys. What do you mean by ‘his brain screaming at him?’ I’m curious to understand this.
Thanks, Leigh. Here’s what I meant. For about a decade, I lived a sluggish lethargic life where most of my non-work hours were spent lying in bed, reading or with my laptop on my chest. I had aspirations of being an active, social guy, but everytime I stepped out and tried it, the experience was dissatisfying, since I had become wired to want to withdraw to my comfort zone. That’s when the “screaming brain” metaphor came into play…my mind was always telling me “walk away, go home, and go to bed…walk away, go home, go to bed…”. Bed was my narcotic, and I was addicted to it.
So my attempts to “take action” (on a basic level) were ineffectual. The only way I was able to make progress was to use rituals to redesign my life from the top down. One particular ritual has been effective in keeping me out of bed when it’s not time to sleep. I can still lie down on the couch. That’s my “methadone” (lol). But it’s a big step in the right direction. By no means am I “fixed” now, but I’m definitely crawling out of the hole.
I’m sure your advice in this column is very helpful for a lot of guys. I only wanted to point out that there are plenty of hard cases that require something much deeper to make real progress.
I see mate.
I completely agree with you. The advice is really only applicable for a particular group of guys. If I tried to write articles for everyone, trying to take in every posible variation into account, they would end up helping no-one because they would be too vague and unspecific.
Great to hear you’ve found the first step. I wish you all the best with the next step.
I see mate.
I completely agree with you. The advice is really only applicable for a particular group of guys. If I tried to write articles for everyone, trying to take in every possible variation into account, they would end up helping no-one because they would be too vague and unspecific.
Great to hear you’ve found the first step. I wish you all the best with the next step.
Would it be too late for a man in his early to mid forties who has been trapped by this idleness for his entire life . I cant even go to a grocery store without having intense feelings in my gut . Like a fire. Now you can only imagine what it feels like to approach women. Its unbearable. In spite of that i have managed to approach a few women trying to be in the moment like you suggest and trying to apply other techniqués from direct aproach puas.
I cant seem to be consistant . I tell myself everyday to do at least a few approaches and i always wind up not doing anything . Blogs like yours motivate me ,but i found a most recent motivation from a roomate of mine who is pushing 60 and has a hot 23yr old girlfriend. That made me inexplicably jealous and i immediately when out and cold approached 3Women no numbers but two relatively fun interactions and one complete blowout. She didnt even look at me.
This was wedenesday and i felt i could do this everyday and thrn thursday i did only one approach and couldnt work the courage for any more .
Today I did none . Right back to my pathetic routines of work home ,sleep.
This is always the case . Intermitent courage triggered or inspired by some form of envy,then my brain practically forcing me to go back and lay on that couch or bed and let’s not try change this good thing here and then i would just wind up drinking tequila and beer and give up again.
I feel if i dont do nothing now this late in life ,I never will.
I truly dont know what to do…Im just too set in my ways and my nerves feel like they are kicking and screaming at the thought of change.
It’s never too late to change. Your brain is in a constant state of shifting and you can rewire it whenever you want.
I’m not saying it’s going to be fast or it’s going to be easy but if you’re committed and dedicated, you can definitely make the change.
Hey Pantalones, read my comments above and tell me if you think your situation is similar to what I described about my own life. This “fire” and “intense feelings in your gut”…are you talking about nervousness & anxiety, or is it more like just an overwhelming desire to withdraw to your comfort zone?
I’m going to be really honest with you guys; I’m only 16 years old. I’ve read “endgame” and “seduction community sucks.” They were great and inspirational books to read. The reason I ended up on your site was because i was searching for a solution, a solution to cut the excuses of why I don’t meet new people, why I don’t approach cute girls I don’t know, and a solution to have a fun and exciting life. My quest to find a solution started when i noticed that my 16 year old brother was effortlessly attracting women,it was like he knew exactly what to say and when to say it. He has so much more friends than I do and I’m starting to get really angry and frustrated because I want to be THAT guy who can make those types of connections with people and i want to be able to approach beautiful women without the anxiety and self-consciousness that i have right now. Any suggestions?
Great to hear you’re so self aware. This is a conversation that could take a little bit to get through and I think could be FAR easier to get through on the forum.
Register here: http://www.attractioninstitute.org/inner-game-forums/index.php and add your question in there.
We can take it from there.
could you please put more things we could do?
There are enough things, but it is always better to have more, as when you say to yourself “I don’t know what to do!”
It sounds to me like the problem here isn’t that you don’t know what to do, it’s that you’re asking the wrong question.
If you don’t knwo what to do, it’s very likely that you’re asking the question “What should I do?” rather than “What do I want to do?”
I’m not saying this is true, but it’s a very common problem.
How does this tie in with “Turning up the Volume”? Because the two ideas seem very contradicting.
Great question mate.
Turning Up The Volume is all about proving to yourself that the specific pathway you’re following doesn’t work for you. And not in a logical “From what I’ve read, I can see that external validation isn’t the answer I’m looking for” idea that doesn’t really change anything but by proving it to yourself, over and over again, so you get an overwhelming, first hand expereince of that pathway failing you.
But proving that an old pathway doesn’t work for you isn’t going to automatically propel you into the new pathway. It just means you’re going to give up on the old one.
That leaves a lot of guys in an empty void, waiting for some kind of lightning strike to push them over the edge. This is who this post of this post and who this post is written for.
Does that clear it up?
You’re very right. I’m waiting. I’ve been waiting for the magical idea that will spring me into action. Waiting for the click upon which I will jump to action, doing what I need to, what I want to. (Odd, no one took up the “list 5 things you want to do and a date” challenge.)
1 – 1 approach per day (c’mon, I can do one!)
2 – Explore the Primary Goal as far as it goes~
3 – Do what I can for the Primary Goal (without getting overwhelmed by its immensity).
4 – Put in the focus to learn to read faster.
5 – Put myself out there. Start publicizing my views. Say, start a blog.
The date will be September 29th, 2013.
(The Primary Goal is transcending the human condition, improving the state of being for living beings and creating/becoming new living beings too. Somewhat vague? That’s why I’m exploring it more!)
Awesome mate. Great to hear.
Well, I got started with and made some headway on 2-5. That was some good momentum.
Only really made progress on number 1 on the first day :-s. -sigh-
Plenty of excuses.
1. Study Diferential Calculus
2. Tell a girl how i really feel, i mean approach but really SAY REALLY SAY what I’m thinking
3.Commit to this list :
4.Say what i think
5.Tell people how i really feel, what i really think and be real, but real in that way that makes me wanna puke !!
and many many more, i expect to do them all tomorrow, at least with one person 🙂