A Beginners Guide to Building Self Respect

Self Respect – You know you need it.

You know it’s going to help you be more confident, strong, and attractive to women, but no-one is saying how to build it.

So, let me make it easy for you.

I want you to visualise someone you respect. It can be a friend, your boss, someone you’ve read about, or someone you’ve never even met before.

Man or woman, it doesn’t matter.

What is it you respect about them? Yes, I’m sure they’ve achieved great things, but beyond that, how do they live their life?

What characteristics and traits do they live their life with that you respect?

In case you’re having issues coming up with characteristics, here’s a list to get your head moving in the right direction:

– Honesty
– Cruelty
– Compassion
– Reactiveness
– Direction
– Anger
– Proactiveness
– Jealously
– Patience
– Vengence
– Big picture thinking
– Shallowness
– Optimism
– Blame
– Responsibility
– Judgemental
– Giving
– Calculating
– Authenticity
– Courage
– Passion

What characteristics do they exemplify?

Now you have that list, answer this question:

How much more self-respect would you have if you lived your life with these characteristics?

If, instead of waking up in the morning and just running through the same old patterns and routines you’ve been going through for the last 5 / 10 / 15 / 30 years, you woke up and lived your life with these characteristics…

…how much more self-respect would you have?

This is the secret to building rock solid self-respect: living your life in a way that you respect.

It really is that simple.

When you live your life in a way that you respect, surprisingly, you start to respect yourself.

It’s not complicated. It’s not confusing. It’s surprisingly simple when you think about it. It just involves logically thinking about what you want to achieve and the simplest and easiest way to do it.

But now, the fun stuff starts.

It’s one thing to know that you need to live your life in a different way, it’s another thing completely to know what that actually means.

So let’s break it down.

I’m going to assume, without any knowledge of who you are and what you respect, that courage appears on your list.

Why? Because it appears on just about everyone’s list.

So, what would it mean that live your life with courage? What would change about your life?

The secret here is to think about specific situations and specific examples so you can come up with specific actions you can take.

What would change when you see that cute blonde sitting at the bus stop, listening to music on her iPhone, waiting for her bus to come?

What would change when that smart dressed corporate brunette looks up from her meal in the food court and smiles at you?

What would change when you’re surprised by the girl-next-door redhead in the middle of the street asking you for the time?

What would change about your life if you chose to live it with courage?

What would change when your boss asks if anyone has anything they’d like to add when the meeting’s about to conclude, and you’ve been sitting on a great idea for months?

What would change when that new business opportunity crosses your path?

What would change…

And, most importantly, how much more respect would you have for yourself?

Now, go through every characteristic on your list and ask yourself the same questions, especially ‘How much more respect would you have for yourself?’

But, knowing isn’t enough. Being able to see exactly how much more respect you’d have for yourself isn’t enough. Change only happens through action.

You won’t experience more self-respect until you start to do something. So here’s a something for you to do.

Once again, I’m going to assume that courage is on your list of traits that you respect.

Your task, right now, is to find something that requires a little bit of courage and do it.

It doesn’t have to be the scariest thing you’ve ever done. It just has to be something that pushes you to be a little more courageous than you normally would be.

Maybe it’s calling that girls number you got three weeks ago but never had the balls to follow up.

Maybe it’s sending that email to your boss telling him about how much more efficiently things could be run if you follow his ideas.

Maybe it’s getting in touch with your ex-girlfriend and seeing if the spark is still there.

Whatever it is, make sure you do it right away. Don’t put it off till tomorrow. Don’t wait until next week.

Don’t allow the excuse of “I’m not feeling right” or “I’m not in the zone”, do it now and start to experience the self-respect you’re looking for.

Once you’ve done that, post the action you took below and inspire others to do the same.



P.S. Yes, do it now. Don’t wait. Don’t delay.

If you can’t come up with anything that might stretch you beyond your comfort zone, here’s a default. Walk outside your house or work or wherever you’re reading this, find a beautiful woman, and make contact.

If you’ve never approached a woman before, just walk past her and smile.

If you’re used to talking to women but have never approached a woman, say “Hi”

If you’re used to saying “Hi”, compliment her.

I think you get it.

Do something that requires courage and take one step towards building the self-respect you want.


20 thoughts on “A Beginners Guide to Building Self Respect”

      • We were playing with each other for 3 month and I was acting cool instead of being honest. I lost her but I drove 180 miles to her house and just sat there and told her everything I feel for her, not because I wanted something in return but I felt the least I could do was being totally honest.
        It’s over now but I’m glad I did it. Than I called one of those female friends I had for a long time and always was secretly attracted to and told her that I regret to never have had the balls to tell her that. Couldn’t have done it without you and the transformation I’m going trough since I found this place a year ago.

  1. I can relate to what you´ve written, Leigh.
    Specially when I have my “moments” of pushing through barriers and do what I want, despite my feelings at the moment. I feel more courageous, powerful and conscious of my capacity to do things that seemed possible only in my imagination.

    This article remind me how I have to be committed with my purpose. Thanks Leigh. 🙂

  2. Hi I was really interested in taking the get real course I think you guys can help with my inner game issies I no I have I got kids but am intimidated by certain women lol

  3. And not are we getting externally dependent? When we do these exercises for self-esteem.It turns out that self esteem is highly dependent on our memory, how well we remember that we did, that would be courageous, for example.

    • It’s all about little steps mate. If this is beyond what you would normally do then that’s a great place to start. Well done.

      Now, don’t stop there. Make it a habit. Do something tomorrow, and the day after. Keep going and I’m sure you’ll surprise yourself.

  4. Good article. Self respect helps alot even with other things such as confidence.

    If you aren’t usually this way when you start to demand respect some people will resist it and cause drama but when you stick to it they will start to respect you more and other people will learn to do also.

  5. Awesome article. Before I even read th I pushed a great business idea to my business partner. We didn’t understand it at first and we got a heated argument. I should say it wasn’t too heated and I didn’t quit understand what he was saying. Didn’t back down as I normally might. We discussed and now understand each other and our moving forward with the idea. I now feel even more passion for our business. Next I got to do this wih women.

  6. Leigh, this is good writeup. I know we don’t mark things that we were afraid of and did but your article showed me that we should find the person we deeply respect and to award ourself for actions we took to become more selfrespect man.
    My english if fkdup ))

  7. Gonna see an attractive female and say a genuine honest compliment instead of my usual “Hi” + beating around the bush.

    I also have signed up for the gym finally but I did that a week ago.

    Great article man. Your advice is making me a better dude which is more important than anything.

  8. I pushed a guy off his bike and spit in his face, a fight commenced. I will throw a cocktail of shit, piss and water in the face of a gym owner I used to work for next.


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