Thought of the day #6 – What are you going to do about it?

“What are you going to do about it?”

The world is never going to give you what you want. You’re never going to wake up and one day everything is going to be perfect.

The quality of your life isn’t determined by how perfect the world is, it’s determined by how you respond when it isn’t the way you want it to be.

So when the world gives you lemons, what are you going to do about it?




There are going to be thousands of different excuses that come up.

“But last time I tried, it didn’t work…”

Perfect. That’s one thing you know doesn’t work for you. What are you going to do differently?

“But maybe I just can’t change…”

Maybe, but maybe not. If you believe this then prove it to yourself. Try every possible solution. Only then will you know whether or not you can change. So what are you going to try now?

“But I’m not good enough.”

And you never will be by sitting around waiting till you’re good enough to do something. So what are you going to do?

“But it seems scary.”

How is running away from scary things working for you? Are you happy being comfortable? Obviously not if you’re complaining about it, so what are you going to do about it?

Quick Exercise:

Pick one area in your relationships with women that you’re not happy with.

Don’t go general, like I’m not sleeping with enough of them, be specific. Pick something that you’re not doing enough of:
– I’m not expressing myself enough
– I’m not initialing enough conversations with women
– I don’t stand up for myself

Once you have your specific one, then ask yourself: what am I going to do about this?

Create some kind of plan that you can execute to deal with this issue because it’s not going to deal with itself.


Just as a side note, I wrote this because I was sitting at work the other day and it struck me what I dislike so much about every customer we have:

All they do is whinge about their life.

I spend my entire day listening to “This person did this…” and “This is unfair…” and “It’s this person’s fault…” but not once, have I ever heard:

“And this is what I’m going to do about it.”

Not once.

Whinging, complaining, moaning and bitching and not one single person in the entire room who has the balls to stand up and take action.

Do I agree with them about the things that are wrong with the world?

No, not at all. But if they stood up and took action, at least I’d respect them.

At the moment, I can’t even respect them.

I thought about this in relation to my life and then realised that the people I respect the most are the ones who stand up for what they believe in, regardless of what that is, and take action to make their world the way they want it to be.

It helped me see that if I want to be the kind of person that I respect, this is how I have to live my life.

I’m much better at doing this than I used to be but it’s still not happening in all areas of my life so this is why this is my thought of the day.

9 thoughts on “Thought of the day #6 – What are you going to do about it?”

  1. I’m never in the mood to approach new women because I know that with the life I have right now, I can’t give them the things I want to give them. What I am I going to do about it? I’ve thought and will keep thinking ways to get the things I want to be able to offer, and get them in a way that is based on me pushing myself and expanding my horizons and stuff. In other words, based on ME, which is the only thing I can ever aspire to control in the world.

    Things/ways of doing stuff that seemed to be working are:
    *Reducing the amount of moments where I am dependent on someone/something to do what I want. (Ex. going to a party on my bike instead of asking a friend or my dad to drive me there)
    *Accepting myself fully, including the things I am not happy with. ESPECIALLY the things I am not happy with.
    *Trying to be more aware and conscious so that I can better separate myself from unproductive and harmful trains of thought.
    *Wanting to be a good dancer, I buy a mirror so I can practice every fucking day, get comfortable with/in my body, and allow myself to look silly and just have fun with myself (lol). (If I have fun at dancing clubs/parties, then I can share it)

    What do you think Leigh?

    • Hum, if you don’t mind me answering too, I’ve had very similar thoughts to yours. I countered them with something quite simple:

      “Why can’t I improve my life while being with her?”

      Chew on that one for a while ;).

      • No prob…

        Yeah, I got to that thought too… I, I was going to follow those three points with a ‘but’, but fuck buts. I’m gonna keep meditating on what you say for a while, thanks. Be on the alert for private messages.

  2. Hey Mario!

    This is not good to think like that. How do you know, what she want’s? I tohught that all the wimen like to go to fancy diner and need expensive julery and stuff, but after meeting few of them, the truth can not be more difrent, I was not asking them out becouse I know that diner like that cost 100 eur or more and I didn’t got the money. It turns out that most of theme are happy with 3 eur hamburger at Macdonalds 🙂 It’s the feeling that you gave theme that is important not matiral things!

    Best of luck 🙂

  3. I have a problem. My parents are very strict. they do not allow me to go to parties,won’t allow me to get a job because my father has this notion if I get a job I won’t focus in college. however I am allowed to volunteer at the local hospital. My thing is since I do not have a job that girl will find me unattractive. That is a lingering thing in my head that prevents me to approach women. Plus if they know that a 22 year old is still listening to his parents they wont find it attractive. these two thing prevent me mentally from approaching. Its frustrating. What should I do?

    • Ok, so what I’m reading in this is that your belief about attraction is that if you don’t have a job, you can’t attract women.

      Is that true in 100% of cases? If it were true, no unemployed people would ever get a girl and losing your job would automatically mean losing a woman. Is that 100% true?

  4. No it is not 100% true. I guess that is an excuse I am using. But i feel if I tell a girl the reason I don’t have a job they will think I am a bitch for not standing up to my parents. Also speaking of my parents at this point the only way I can get chicks is daytime approach. I have learned when I have my headphones on outside I just shut my self from the outside world and i am less willing to approach. Then mentally I get so fearful of just approaching all my insecurities come into play in my mind(my weight,strict parents,no job,fear of rejection,fear of looking stupid,don’t know what to say after I hear what her name is etc) My mind just shuts down in fear. After reading many of your articles I am wasting my time with this approach anxiety.I really want to get laid but I am doing nothing to fix it. It is scary but i have to do it if not when? I am just rambling but you articles are right. This quote hit me hard ” Every time you don’t approach a woman, you’re trading a temporary reprieve from fear and anxiety for a long term guarantee that you’ll spend the rest of your days watching the women you want walk out of your life, one by one, till you realise you’re 48 and you still feel as demasculinated as when you were 19.” Ouch. That made me more scared then my approach anxiety. I have to use what I can to get laid. If i can’t go partying then approaching it is. I am reading you book now and will apply it. Even though you are Australian and i am an African American in NYC your message is for all men. Thank for everything man. that quote hit me really hard. I am 22. I don’t want to 32 still with this fear.

    • Ok, so now we’re getting to the core. The issue that’s running in the back of your ming isn’t that you don’t have a job, it’s that you’re not standing up to your parents. It’s that you feel weak and powerless. That’s a different story…

      Now, here’s something to consider – do you have get a job to feel powerful, strong, and therefore, attractive? Or is there a way you can feel strong and powerful whilst still respecting your parents wishes?

      And if you did, how would that change the way you perceived yourself and how attractive you feel?

      And here’s something else to wrap your head around – if you decided to push through your fear and start approaching women, despite your anxiety, how much more powerful would you feel?


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