There seems to be a bit of confusion in the dating community about so-called ‘shit tests’, so let me give you some thoughts on how you can ‘pass’ them.
Hopefully by the time you finish reading this, you’ll be able to see the difference between real testing, challenging and just outright complaining.
And not just blast through these tests – every time – but you simply won’t have to deal with them EVER AGAIN.
First of all, I think it’s important to clarify what we’re talking about here so that everyone’s on the same page.
What are ‘shit tests’?
‘Shit Tests, in my definition, are her way of finding out whether or not you’re a remarkable Man.
I’m not talking about her finding out if you’re potentially a pro football player here; I’m just talking about a guy who knows what he wants and is willing to go after it.
A guy who lives his purpose.
Just about every woman I’ve dated has tested me. Come to think about it, not ‘just about every woman’. EVERY woman.
As to ‘Why does she throw shit tests?’, it’s a long conversation to get into, but I’ll give you a quick run down.
She wants a Man who’s in touch with what he wants in life. Who has the strength to go after it. When she’s with a guy like this, she knows that all the Masculine responsibilities are taken care of so she can totally relax into the feminine.
In other words, she can be totally free to be herself. She can laugh when she wants to, she can cry when she wants to, she can dance in the rain and sing to the stars.
She can express her femininity completely without having to focus on direction, purpose, planning.
If she finds a Man who’s like this, she’ll throw shit tests at him intensely and often. She does this because she needs to know that he’s still that guy.
If he is, then she can continue to be free. If he’s not, she’ll have to pick up the slack.
In my experience, women tend not to test guys as much who aren’t in touch with their purpose and direction because once they fail a test, they know that their testing is not needed. They know that he’s not there yet, so they don’t need to keep testing.
The ironic thing is that the kind of guys who get shit tested HEAPS are the ones who don’t even notice the shit tests. I’ll explain that more in a minute.
If you want to get a much stronger understanding of these concepts, read Way of the Superior Man. David Deida goes pretty in-depth with it.
How are shit tests different to challenging?
I use the word challenging to classify where someone is attempting to elevate their ‘status’ above someone else to feel important.
It’s an ego thing: ‘I don’t feel important so if I can make myself look better than you, then everyone will think I’m important.’
This isn’t born out of the Masculine / feminine dynamic; this is born out of insecurity and the drive to feel important (loved).
How are shit tests different to complaining?
This isn’t rocket surgery. We can all recognise when someone is just complaining.
It’s usually born out of the same desire to feel important as challenging is. People who are serial complainers usually tend to do it because it allows them to feel superior to the object / people / action that they’re complaining about.
The difference between challenging and complaining is that challenging is some taking you, head on. Complaining is just whinging about something.
And what’s the point of separating these things?
In my experience, radiant, strong, confident, incredible feminine women will always shit test the real Men in their life. It’s a beautiful expression of their deep femininity and something to be cherished.
But challenging and complaining are something that insecure people do to make themselves feel more important.
I’m not saying that radiant women don’t complain; it’s just that it’s not their default state.
So, if they’re going to always shit test me, how can I “Never have to deal with shit tests again”?
Like I said, in my definition of shit testing, the feminine SHIT TESTS you because she wants to know whether or not you’re still a Man living his journey.
Because when you are, she can be free to be feminine. If not, she has to pick up the slack where you dropped the ball.
If you’re living your purpose in every moment, then she’s going to naturally get the response she wants, every time. It’s not something you’ll have to consciously think about and come up with; it’ll just be who you are.
In fact, you won’t even have to try and work out whether or not she’s shit testing you because it won’t matter; you’ll just continue living your purpose regardless.
It’s only when you’re not living your purpose and trying to meet her standards that you’ll have to try and pass these shit tests because the right answer won’t come naturally to you.
I’m incredibly fortunate to have some amazingly radiant, strong, incredible, feminine women in my life.
Some of them are in relationships, some of them are not, but every time we interact, they shit test me in the same ways they shit test all the Men in their life.
They ask me whether or not I’m a living my purpose, and whether or not they’re able to be free when they’re around me.
I don’t respond by trying to convince them I’m living my purpose; I just stay on my purpose, and they get the answer they’re looking for.
So the best way to deal with shit tests is to be the kind of guy that doesn’t have to deal with shit tests.
Find your purpose, live your purpose in every moment, and watch these little issues like shit tests, escalating, running out of things to say, qualifying, just fall by the wayside.
If you want to take the first step down that path, download Seduction Community Sucks from directly below.