How To Talk To Women

The secret to being able to talk to women effortlessly is…. Drum roll… More drums…

Talk to them.

That’s it. Walk up there, express yourself openly and freely, and then see what happens.

Not the kind of answer you were hoping for, right? Well, that’s because it’s only part of the answer.

The part you really wanted to hear – the end. In order for this to really make sense, you need to know the middle, and probably the start as well.

So here it is – the start.

I know it might seem like you have an issue talking to women, but you actually don’t.

I’m sure there’s more than one woman in your life that you have no issues talking to so it’s not a woman thing. There’s something more.

Yes, I realise you want to know how to be better at talking to ATTRACTIVE women.

And that’s the first little clue. What is it that changes when you see an attractive women? I’m not talking about the changes that are going on in your pants, I’m talking about what’s going through your head.

What’s different about a beautiful woman? And here’s the key to seeing your real issue – what’s different about what you’re trying to achieve?

If you had to buy a new pair of shoes and a woman you didn’t find attractive was serving you, what would you be focussing on as you were talking to her?

Whilst your attention could be all over the shop, it’d be mostly on the shoes, right?

And would you have issues talking to her?

How would that change if she was smoking hot? What would you be trying to achieve? And how would that change your ability to talk to her?

If you’re anything like most red blooded males, you’d be trying to get her attracted to you. And because you’re trying to do that, your ability to talk to her is reduced to that of a 12 year old boy on his first date.

You don’t have an issue with talking to women – you have an issue with trying to make women like you. If you weren’t trying to make her attracted to you then your issues with talking to women would go away.

Now that you know the start, lets get onto the middle…

How to fix this situation.

The issue you have isn’t that you can talk to women, it’s that you’re trying to make women like you and it’s stuffing up your ability to talk to women. So, there are two ways you can deal with this.

You can either get better at making women like you or you can stop trying to make women like you.

Most guys go for the ‘get better at making women like me’ option because it seems logical but before you draw your line in the sand, consider this: when have you had the most success with women?

When you were trying to come up with ways to make her like you or when you weren’t focusing on trying to make her like you and your attention was all on having a great time?

Now, go back to the options again.

Do you think that improving your ability to talk to women is going to be better served through learning how to make women like you or through learning how to stop caring whether women like you?

If you spend your time trying to learn how to make women like you so that you’re better at talking to women then you’re going to be forever stuck in your head trying to come up with different ways to make them like you..

..learning what routine, or structure, or method to use, and then trying to deploy it. And that’s a few months down the track at least.

If you spend your time learning how to stop trying to make women like you, then you’re able to simply walk up to women and talk.

You can either try and develop a whole new set of skills or you can simply learn how to use the ones you already have.

So, back to the end again. How do you talk to women? You simply talk to women.

The way you get better results talking to women is to become the kind of guy who isn’t attached to how they respond to him.

March 26, 2019

© LifeOS 2006-2019

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