Limiting beliefs are your silent barriers to success.
They’re the invisible hands tugging at your shirt when try to cross the club floor to talk to the cute blonde who’s been eyeing you off all night.
They’re the quiet whispers inside you head telling you all the reasons you shouldn’t ask for her number.
They’re the concrete in your boots, anchoring your feet to the pavement every time you even think about approaching the stunning brunette on the opposite footpath
They’re the stickiness in your mouth, making you fumble over your words, every time you try to express how attracted you are.
They’re the undercurrent, running in the background, turning what should be fun, simple, and easy into frustrating, difficult, and hard.
If you didn’t have limiting beliefs, the art of becoming the Man of your dreams would be much simpler.
Instead of working out ways to overcome your approach anxiety, you’d be working out ways of to have more fun and be more playful with women.
Instead of working out ways to express yourself sexually, you’d be working out ways to be more in touch with what she needs and when is a good time to express yourself.
Instead of working out how to get out of your way and ask out the cute girl who sits behind you in class, you’d be working on ways to be more spontaneous and alive.
Eliminating your limiting beliefs is a game changer.
It gets rid of all the mundane, repetitive barriers and allows you to play with the FAR more enjoyable areas of meeting, attracting, and seducing women.
So, how do you deal with them? How do you make them go away?
The first step I eliminating your limiting beliefs is understanding what you’re really up against.
You see, not every limiting belief is the same and not every person has the same limiting beliefs.
Some guys have limiting beliefs about their height. Some guys have limiting beliefs about the weight. Some guys have limiting beliefs about the ethnicity (shout out to all my yellow brothers :-)).
If you’re going to eliminate your limiting beliefs, you first need to identify what your limiting beliefs are.
That way, you know what exactly what you’re up against and you’re not just firing arrows into the dark.
If you haven’t done this before, it might seem a little challenging, so here’s how you identify your limiting beliefs:
A limiting belief is perception you have of yourself or the world that prevents you from taking action. It’s a thought in your head that limits you.
That means the easiest way to work out what your limiting beliefs are, is to put yourself in a situation where you know you should take action, you know you can physically take action, but for some reason, you don’t.
Then when you’re in that situation, notice the thoughts that come up whilst you’re there.
A classic example is approaching women.
You know that you just need to walk towards her and say “Hi”, you know that you have the physical skills to do it, but for some reason, you don’t.
But why don’t you? What’s in your way? What do you think is going to happen? And WHY do you think it’s going to happen?
Your limiting belief is the ‘why?’
Think she’s going to reject you? Sure. That’s pretty common. But why do you think she’s going to reject you?
Is it because of your height? Then your limiting belief would be “Women aren’t attracted to me because of my height.”
Is it because you’re Asian? Then your limiting belief would be “White women aren’t attracted to me because I’m Asian.”
Is it because you always screw things up? Then your limiting belief would be “Women aren’t attracted to me because I’m a failure.”
The limiting belief is the ‘Why?’
So, here’s your challenge for today.
I’m currently putting together a big post about how to eliminate your limiting beliefs and I need you help with it.
In order to make the article as thorough as possible, I need a comprehensive list of limiting beliefs and I need to know which ones are the most common.
I need your help with this: I need you to tell me what your limiting beliefs are.
Go out and put yourself in a situation where you know that you should be taking action, you have the physical tools to take action, but for some reason, you hold yourself back.
This can be just seeing a beautiful woman you want to talk to at the bus stop, but you hold yourself back.
This can be flirting with the cute girl at the coffee store, but not asking for her number.
This can be getting in the elevator with the stunning receptionist from the 11th floor, but not even being able to say “Hi”
This can be wanting to ask the new girl in class if she wants to join your study group, but letting her walk right by you out of class.
Any situation where you know you need to take action, but you fail to do so.
Then, as you’re wallowing in self pity, ask yourself the two most important questions:
1. What was I afraid of happening?
2. Why would that happen?
These two questions will tell you your limiting beliefs.
When you know what your limiting beliefs are, share them in the comments below.
By doing this, you’ll help me identify exactly what you guys are working through so the article is a thorough as possible.
When I have a big list, I’m going to sift through them all, and see what I can come up with.
You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. But just be aware that if you don’t, your specific limiting belief may be left off the list and you won’t get the answers you need.
If you’re willing to take on this challenge and help find an answer to eliminate limiting beliefs, post a comment below saying that you’re taking on the challenge so that other guys see they’re not alone in this.
NOTE: Part 2 has just been published, you can access it here.
52 thoughts on “Eliminating Your Limiting Beliefs Part 1: Identification”
My limiting belief is that I do not earn enough money to date beautiful women.
my limiting belief is that i’ might not be interesting, exciting, stimulating, or good enough for her.
my limiting belief is that I’m just too damn sexy for women.
This is good. Keep it up guys. And to all those guys who’ve emailed me, I’ve got your emails and I’ll be including them in the article.
my limiting belief is im not cool enough or popular
My limiting belief is that I cannot attract girls because I’m short, have a lot of pimples (still!) wear glasses, and have a slight paunch.
P.S. Why do you say Asians have issues with attraction? I can think of plenty of hot Asians…
It might not happen in the circles you mix in but a lot of asian guys have a belief that they can’t attract white women. I was getting asked it so many times that I wrote a whole article on it.
No-one has mentioned it here yet and it’ll be interesting to see if anyone does.
My limiting beliefs: I know that I at some point will fail anyway, so its difficult to make the approach in the first place.
“Instead of working out how to get out of your way and ask out the cute girl who sits behind you in class, you’d be working on ways to be more spontaneous and alive.”
Thanks, thank you very very much for the inspiration. Once i was this guy, who’d lived from moment to moment – simply sponateously expressing what is in him – without thinking, manipulation and the fear to do something wrong.
Ok so i think my limiting belief is that i must control everything around me to feel safe.
Great to hear it spoke to you mate.
Keep the list coming guys, this is great.
my belief is that, she has plenty of friends, no time for me, is not interested in me because I wear glasses, would not see me as cute guy…
There is plenty of fears to give away 🙂
I have so many limiting beliefs still. I think they come in two forms, one is the belief that I have to always say the perfect thing when I’m talking to people. Which stops me from just saying the first thing that pops to my mind.
The other is that I reject a lot of my desire in the moment, and when I do feel them, my limiting belief is one of procrastination… that I’ll fulfill my desires some other time or that right now isn’t a very good time.
My limiting belief is that I´m not good enough to lead a interaction and express my desires for a woman that I think is cute.
My belief is that I’ll come off as awkward, weird, or creepy to girls I randomly approach.
My limiting belief is that she will reject me because I
don´t know how to seduce her
Im going to take tomorrow as
A day to delve into what my limiting beliefs are.
Ill be back here tomorrow with what I found.
The response to this has actually been a little overwhelming. I’ve received FAR more emails that I ever thought I would with far more detail than I thought possible. It’s really eye opening.
I’m glad we’re doing this.
One of my biggest barriers is approaching is creepy, which totally doesn’t make sense. I have approached women, I have gotten good reactions from it and this belief is still there… If a hot and interesting woman (the female equivalent of a authentic and strong guy) approaches me and tells me I am cute, it can make my day.
The second one is a bit more specific – when a girl I like is on the dancefloor, I start overanalysing my approach not sure what to do and how to open her…
The second one is a bit more specific,
After today I can definitely say that my biggest barrier is being judged for who I am. I’m so scared of this that I put the real me away and hide. I did have some moments today where the real energetic attractive me
Comes out, but it’s only for a moment and I realize that and go back into my shell. I need other people’s approval and I can’t break out of it.
Awesome mate, that’s great, but we’re not quite there yet. What will happen if people judge you negatively? What will be the outcome of that judgement? Will they not want to be around you? Will you be isolated? What will the result be?
Yeah, I feel if I get judged negatively then
People won’t like me and want to be around me.
Great, so would your limiting belief ‘I can’t be real around people because they’ll judge me negatively and then not want to be around me’?
Yeah but you see I’m not sure if that’s what I’m afraid of happening. I can’t put my finger on what I expect to happen that’s so negative. It’s weird.
Ok, cool. I’m writing the followup article tomorrow and it’ll shed some light on this.
I’m afraid of a women not liking me because I have nothing to offer.
I am constantly at war with this belief since I found your site. On the days I get up and start my day ‘Doing’ I feel amazing and the belief is gone. But if I start slacking later on in the day, I revert back to a ‘Getting’ mindset. I guess I have to keep ‘Doing’ throughout the entire day in order to keep this feeling
Sounds like a simple solution to me.
Thanks for sharing mate.
My limiting belief is that I suck at sports (ball sports) – and therefore could never impress an athletic/sporty girl.
It’s not fitness that’s the problem, I can sprint fairly fast and run distances, I now swim on a weekly basis, I stretch out muscles every day, I go to martial arts classes and recently started to practice breakdancing (though only in private, until I’m good) I worry that I should do more sports that are ‘conventional’ and ‘manly’ like football or soccer and become a team captain or something. But I don’t like them. And the people who play them seem like jerks. I prefer sports that require a bare minimum of equipment and don’t need a team. And I believe this makes me look poor/unsociable/generally s*** to those athletic females whom I adore.
PS: I am also insecure about my physique – I’m a lanky ectomorph. I’ve done a lot to improve my diet this year to try to improve the amount of muscle on my frame – but, I guess that will take a couple more months.
My limiting belief is that she will reject me because I
don´t know how to talk with her
My limiting belief is that I am scared to get rejected because all of my friends would judge and make fun of me
I’m scared of being rejected because I’m in hs and I think if I get rejected then everyone might find out, so no one would want to date me
My limiting belief use to be that I wasn’t good enough in bed but I proved myself wrong with my ex girlfriend. Now I have a limited belief that I can’t get rid of my nice guy persona and I can’t be more of a dominant man. But I’m working on that day by day.
My limiting belief is that I fucking hate how I look and I believe no girl can be physically attracted to me.
For everyone who keeps emailing me, part 2 has just been published. You can check it out here:
I believe I am too old to attract young women. We would
not have anything in common. She would rule me out straight away based on age. Also quite a few of the
already mentioned ones, fear of rejection, failure,
looking foolish in social situations etc.
George Clooney dates women half his age, just saying.
Yes but George Clooney is rich and famous.
You seem to have a limited understanding of what attraction is and how it works. Yes, being rich and famous can help, but it’s definitely not something that makes attraction for non-rich and famous guys impossible.
Have a read of this: http://www.attractioninstitute.org/how-to-become-effortlessly-attractive-to-women#
Also, just on a personal note, when I was single and playing around, I was seeing two girls at the same time who were younger than my guitar and I’m neither rich nor famous.
I have a list of limiting beliefs, basically all of them:
– I’m too ugly to attract women.
– She will find me creepy if I approach her.
– Surely she must have a boyfriend/husband or fiance (and in most cases they do).
– I don’t have a car, so I can’t “pick her up”.
– I don’t earn much, she won’t go out with me anyway.
– And yes, I have Chinese and Indonesian heritage with a mostly European background, their latent racism makes them uninterested in me (total bs I know, but the thought lingers).
…And the list goes on…
I know part 2 is already published, but I’d still like to add that often I’m ashamed to talk to a girl way younger than me. I’m 28 and often like girls that could as well be 18. Though I don’t believe there’s anything wrong in that, I feel I will be laughed at.
for me it’s just the other way around, I am 18 and the girl I have feelings for is 28
The one limiting belief I believe holds most blokes back is not knowing what to say (or do) after they say “hi”.
A limiting belief I have is fear of moving out of my parent’s house and living on my own for the fear of being lonely, not making it financially on my own, suffering with no one to help me, etc.
My limiting belief is that somewhere down the road i will fuck up. and i believe that because it happens consistently.
My limiting belief is that women do not want me to talk to them during the day. For some reason I feel like they will be annoyed, or maybe feel harassed, if I try and start up a conversation in the street or at a cafe. I kind of feel that bars at night aren’t an issue because there is an amount of expectation that random guys will strike up a conversation. Or maybe I just feel more relaxed about myself after a few drinks, and I don’t generally drink during the day…
It would be great to feel like I could go up to a girl in any situation, day or night, and feel I can strike up a conversation. I know there are guys that do it but I just don’t know where I should start.
My limiting belief is that I cant approach beautiful girls because they are so cute that they cant be interested on me.
I was in class where I haven’t been attending too much and there was a cute blonde who was more attending and I thought that maybe I should go to talk to her. Then I started to fear that because I’m lazy I couldn’t say anything smart related to course which could start a good conversation and I could ask her out. So if I were to open up, I would say something so stupid all the guys would just laugh and girls wouldn’t care. So my limiting believe is closest to “I’m a failure” department.
Also I fear that if I went to talk with pretty girls I just couldn’t get my mood, my ideas, my thoughts and my focus on right things so I’m just gonna fail anyway. I’m a professor of failure in life sucks university
She doesn’t actually want to have sex with me.
My limiting beliefs are:
-I am being judged by my age (too young for her)
-I can not be with her/she isn’t attracted to me because I am no real man (gender)
-I am too dependent/needy/haven’t figured my shit out yet
-If I wait too long with expressing my feelings I have no chance
-I won’t be respected by other man if I am not alpha/a real man
-She won’t be attracted to me if I am not alpha
-I need to have everything figured out (career/house/independence) in order for a relationship to work/for her to like me)
-I have to know who I am and be real & true to myself & others
-I have to know what to say/say what I feel to build a connection
-I have to make her laugh
i did visulaization like i am approaching high clas women but suddenly i felt like a wall was stopping me….then i continued asking question and it came to me i am not good enough….i also asked myself when was first time i felt like this then again same belief came.
Hello, my limiting belief is that I can’t do things right, because I’m distracted, desoriented, disorganized, lack of attention by me. I always miss the focus/point.
My limiting belief is that I’m not necessarily a man of high value, and thus I don’t deserve to be with a great girl since I will not bring much to her life.
My limiting belief is that I view rejection by women to mean I am not attractive. The rejection can be “live” as in going to/coming from work on the subway, or online with dating sites. When a girl doesn’t respond to my flirt/conversation I see it that it means I am not attractive. Unfortunately, the lack of female responses keeps reinforcing this belief. I begin blaming certain aspects of my appearance, like, having much less hair than I did 20 years ago.