1 Technique To GUARANTEE You Will NEVER Be Rejected By Women

1 foolproof method to end the pain and humiliation of rejection forever

I’ve seen quite a few emails from dating companies recently giving out FOOLPROOF methods for eliminating the possibility of a woman EVER rejecting you.

Frankly, they’re all shit. Worse than shit, they’re stupid. They’re really dumb.

So, to make sure you get the right information rather than some voodoo magic trick to hypnotise women into becoming your dirty sex slaves, I thought I’d give you the truth about how to avoid rejection from women.

So here it is:

How to avoid rejection

The 1 technique that will guarantee that you will NEVER be rejected by a woman again, is simple. It doesn’t require some magic potion, hypnotic trance words, or being able to demonstrate 9 alpha characteristics with your manly posture.

The only fool-proof, 100% guaranteed, never-fail technique to guarantee you’ll never be rejected by women is: Never talk to a woman again.

That’s it. That’s the only way. There is no other. If you plan on talking to any attractive women over the course of your life, eventually, you’re going to meet one who isn’t attracted to you, regardless of your hypnotic sex powers or how many hours you practiced affirmations in front of the mirror that morning.

There’s no set of lines, routines, techniques, structures, methods, or tactics that will prevent a woman from saying ‘No.’ None. Anyone who says there is a magic formula for avoiding rejection is trying to sell you snake oil.

There is no way of avoiding the eventual “Sorry but I don’t like you in that way” because the array of reasons that women have for not being attracted to you is so vast and infinitely complex that you can’t help but missing some woman’s criteria at some point.

Reasons Women Reject Men

The list of reasons women have rejected men are both varied and hilarious. To get a small but wonderful same of these far-reaching reasons, I polled a small selection of my beautiful female friends. Here is a list of reasons they’ve actually had for rejecting a guy:

  • He was too confident
  • He wasn’t confident enough
  • I didn’t like his shoes
  • He was drinking the same drink that my ex-boyfriend used to drink
  • I’d just eaten cheesecake and felt fat
  • I saw him talking to this bitch I knew from high school earlier that night
  • I was too attracted to him and didn’t trust myself around him

There’s no logic. There’s no rationale. There’s no 5-step formula that will guarantee you that she’ll be grinding in your lap at the end of the night. Women are human beings and just like all human beings (including men), they all have individual desires, experiences, emotions, and feelings. They’re complex creatures that have their own agendas and own plans and if you don’t fit in with them, they’re not going to want to be with you.

Sorry to be the one to break it to you but it’s the way of the world.

Living a Rejection-Free Life

Here’s the good news though, this doesn’t just work for women. This 1 foolproof technique can be transferred to ANY area of your life.

  • If you want to avoid rejection at work, quit your job
  • If you want to avoid rejection by your friends, cut them all off and never speak to them again
  • If you want to avoid rejection by your family, tell them all you’ve become a monk and move to another country

Foolproof!

To avoid all kinds of rejection, stop chasing your dreams, never state your opinion, don’t stand up for what you believe in, hide your true feelings, never pursue your passions, lock yourself in a room, and never speak to anyone, ever again. It’s the only way. Sure, your life will be frustrating, painful, unfulfilling, unrewarding, lonely, boring, and unsatisfying, but at least you’ll never have to risk being rejected!

If you ever plan on living a life that is remotely rewarding, happy, and free, you have to face the possibility that someone, somewhere, is eventually going to disagree with you and reject you.

The secret to living a remarkable life isn’t avoiding rejection, it’s learning to stand strong and tall in the face of rejection because you’ve reached a place in your life where the rejection simply doesn’t matter.

Becoming free, open, happy, and confident, doesn’t happen when you learn to avoid rejection. It happens when you become OK with the idea of rejection and live your life, despite what other people think.

Two Options

So, if the crushing pain of rejection is a constant fear in your life and you just can’t deal with it anymore, you have two options here:

Option 1. Run and hide

Lock yourself inside your bedroom and never come out. Don’t talk to anyone, don’t do anything you love, don’t pursue your dreams, and DEFINITELY don’t flirt and play with beautiful women.

Option 2. Mature beyond rejection

Become comfortable with the idea that you will eventually be rejected and do what you want anyway. Stop letting the possibility of rejection prevent you from living the life you want and live a rich and fulfilling life.

Which one sounds like a better option to you?

If you choose #1, good luck with that. I hope your parents have a large basement and an infinite amount of love to support you through your miserable existence.

If you choose #2 and are ready to start taking control of your life, a good place to start is with one of our life transformation challenges. They’re quick and simple, and a great way to build momentum towards a richer, fuller, and more rewarding life.

Check them out here: LifeOS Life Transformation Challenges

March 26, 2019

67 responses on "1 Technique To GUARANTEE You Will NEVER Be Rejected By Women"

  1. Exactly!!!! thats was what I thought to!! And really, how cares the rejection of someone, cuold be a girl, a boss, anybody, when you do always what you want and follow your own heart :-D!!!!!!!

  2. HAHAHAHA I was REALLY HOPING you’d say that. Kudos to you for keeping it real. In martial arts we have a similar rule. Anyone who says they’ve never lost a fight… hasn’t been in one.

  3. In my case is all thanks to you Leigh!!!

  4. perfect solution. At least somebody is there who doesn’t fake it until he makes it.Keep going ahead.

  5. So, I understand the concept of “There’s no way to avoid rejection.” But still, how can someone reach this level of acceptance?

    Does that mean that I should get rejected until it becomes no big deal for me?

    This question hammers my mind. I understand that we can’t avoid rejection but it still seems a big deal to me.

    • Great question mate. And one that will take more than a quick comment to answer. I’ll put something together soon and post it up.

      L.

    • Its the same as you can’t make anyone like you. Why a person likes or dislikes you has nothing to do with you !!! Make this change. A person will like or dislike you entirely based on their perspective of life, past history, biases, you name it. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. Do not take any of it personal because it isn’t.

  6. You hit it right on the spot with this one.
    And I love the martial arts quote as well Fuji. Great stuff.

  7. What’s the deal with being rejected?It strengthens the spirit and helps you grow by learning what was missing. If the answer you ever get is always in the positive, it’ll only confirm your superstitions

  8. Good shit. I was really curious if you were actually going to provide some retarded “secret.” Good stuff.

  9. It’s amazing how different kinds of rejection worry us.

    – Rejection at work? LoL no, if I got fired I’d throw a party and get another, better job.

    – Rejection by some of my friends? I have more. Being able to freely express myself is more important, if I can’t, what’s the point?

    – Rejection by my family? They’re more worried about losing me than the other way around, at least I could spend a week without seeing them.

    – Rejection by any of my close female friends after I flirt with them? It’s super fun, who cares? They never hate you for it if you stick to your guns.

    – Rejection by a bunch of strangers seeing me do something outside of social norm? OH GOD NO!! *hides in a corner crying*

    Makes no fucking sense.

    • Haha… It’s funny how the peoples opinions you value the most are the ones you don’t know and will probably never see again.

      Interesting.

      For me, I was being terrified of being rejected by everyone so you’re doing better than I was.

  10. This is a true fact. That is all.

  11. You can still avoid rejection if you realise after flirting with her and asking her questions, she isnt flirting with you or asking you some questions about yourself (aka actually interested in you). Many times girls will be really friendly with guys and carry on a conversation yet not really be in to him, which is often mistaken as sexual interest. But if shes giving you her undivided attention, asking a lot of questions about you and not just respoding to something you say first (as well as playing around with you) then almost all the time (if not all the time) she would at least be down for a date.

    • You could. Or you could live a life that means you’re happy and fulfilled, regardless of if she rejects you and not worry about it.

      • Well thats impossible for me since I’ve been rejected about 90% of the time by women for 7 or so years no matter what I do, or whatever mindset I have. It also doesnt help that I’m 5’4, have ADD, ADHD, OCD, and depression. Even medications I take do diddly-squat.

        • From the limited amount you’ve written here, I would suggest that the fact that you blame your genetics and rely on external elements like medication to regulate your emotional and experiential state has more to do with your lack of success with women than any of those elements.

          But that’s jut me shooting from the hip here. I don’t know you and we’ve never met. It’s just what I’m seeing.

          • Edouard TahmizianFebruary 9, 2013 at 5:37 am

            Yeah, people who take medications for serious things like disorders or cancer are pussys…shame on those disabled people.

            “I don’t know you and we’ve never met. It’s just what I’m seeing.”

            You might want to get your eyes checked, since you clearly arent seeing ‘right’.

          • Hey mate,

            It sounds like I offended you. I’m sorry if I did. It wasn’t my intention. I’ll try and clarify what I meant.

            My comment wasn’t about specifically about the medication. It was about the underlying attitude behind your comment. What I read from it was: There are external things in life that prevent me from having the kind of life I want.

            Hight, depression, adhd, etc… All these things that are in your way. Instead of working to be confident, free, expressive, and powerful despite these things, you’re allowing them to stop you having the life you want.

            And whilst I don’t know you, I’m going to guess that it’s this attitude, not these specific barriers that are getting you rejected 90% of the time.

            Is the girl of your dreams attracted to a guy who says “It’s not my fault…”?

            Is the girl of your dreams attracted to a guy who says “But I was born this way, I can’t help it”?

            Or do you think she’s more likely to be attracted to a guy who say “These are the cards I was dealt but who cares? I’m going be be happy, strong, powerful, confident, and free despite them”?

            That’s what I was getting at. I hope that makes more sense.

            Leigh

          • Edouard TahmizianFebruary 9, 2013 at 2:57 pm

            Girls, or anyone for that matter, do not know what I say to myself internally. Besides, I have been rejected for my physical apperance, and having disorders does make things harder, irrespective of my opinion. You could argue that having those feelings could influence me to look unconfident or awkward, but simply having opinions does not influence other people. If I were a serial killer and great at hiding any emtional expresivness commonly associated with someone like that, how would an people that dont even know me assume I am one? Besides, you make it seem like its my fault that I can’t get through these disorders. Follwing your logic, a retarded person simply has to have the fortitude and application to not be clinically retarded. It doesnt work that way. Confidence is a double-edged sword. What if I had ‘100% confidence’ I could kick 10 professional boxers asses by myself with no assistance? The way you think of yourself has and never will be all it takes to get women. It takes more than that, and sometimes being very short is what makes the difference between being attractive or unattractive to women. Thats just the way it is. You can’t just wish confidence. That comes with results (exp:You feel confident you can drive a car well because you actually have, not because you had faith you could even before driving one).

            However, I have found things I have done wrong that clearly have contributed to me getting rejected almost everytime by women.

            1)I ask a lot of waitress out (they get hit on a lot, are paid to be nice to you, are above my league most of the time).

            2)I ask out too many women taller than me (height to most women is an instant deal breaker).

            3)I have mistaken women being conversational and flirting with me as them liking me (as well as giving me their number). When I text or call a lot of them back, they either arent interested in hanging out, or make up all these bullshit excusses why they cant go out. Its VERY hard for me to figure out if a women likes me (for real) because they are very hard to read. If I could figure out the fakes from those who are actually sexually interested in me, that would help a ton…really.

          • Hey mate,

            Thanks for all the extra information. There’s a lot in there I would love to talk about. But before I do, I just had a quick question for you to make sure that we’re all working towards the same goal here.

            Is your situation with women something that you’d like to change or are you happy with it the way it is?

            Even if changing your situation meant opening up to look at your situation in a different light and then putting in some real work to make the changes you need to make?

            I’m happy to work with you and help you, but I just want to make sure that energy is going in the right direction.

            Leigh

          • Oh, and PS. I put an article up about how to read women’s minds here: http://www.attractioninstitute.org/how-to-know-what-women-want

          • Edouard,

            LoGun isn’t saying that medication is for pussies. He’s saying that you’re blaming your problems on external events or things. There’s a very strong correlation between that habit and people who are not successful.

            The problem I see is that you’re focused on being a victim and on why you can’t do things as opposed to looking for solutions or ways in which you CAN. If you focus on the problems and obstacles rather than the solutions, then that’s all you’ll see and that’s all you’ll find — problems and obstacles.

            I was in much the same position you were in… the only advantage I had was that I focused on solutions and not problems. And that made all the difference.

          • Edouard TahmizianFebruary 10, 2013 at 7:44 am

            Well up to now I’ve basically done the best I could do as far as attracting women, and nothing has worked. Yeah, I’m willing to change if what you say actually gets me in a relationship with women. Doing all these complex things you read about in The Mystery Method and Pandoras Box is just ridic…its way to much information to process, and few can get it all done effectively, not to mention there is no way to tell if it was the method you implemented or if its just your confidence level or other things.

            The last couple of girls I have been talking to were ones I’ve had the most confidence with and pretty much got everything done smoothly and ‘right’. However, most of the time the girl says she is down to hang out, gives me her number, yet never calls or texts me back, or says shes too bussy. I clearly don’t understand women who would go to the extent to consistantly lie to you and gadly give you their contact information when they have no interest in you sexually.

            Women complain about being sexually harrased, hit on by a bunch of rude guys, and guys not understaning them, but taking into account the above, all they are doing is provoking that kind of behavior from men. The whole point of communication is to convey youre intentions through action. Women need to take a Logic 101 course for dummies. It’s just fucking ridic…I also like how they think men are a bunch or perverts for starting at the ass or breats, yet when they see guys like David Beckham they do the same thing. Most women are a bunch of fucking sexist hypocrits. On one had they are tierd of all these guys not ‘getting’ them, on the other hand they do diddly-squat to get across they don’t like a guy (unless they really dont like one). What they have to do to get men takes little to no effrot. What most men have to do to get women is dedicate their LIVES (aka years of reasearch and 300 page books) to getting what they could get in 1 night. Something is CLEARLY wrong here.

          • Edouard TahmizianFebruary 10, 2013 at 7:49 am

            I should note that, in general, the above doesnt pertain to very attractive men (physically). They get women pretty easily. I have seen examples of this many times in life.

          • Ok, excellent mate. That’s a great place to start. I’m going to email you something so we can keep this comment thread on track.

            I’ll send it through now.

  12. couldn’t have said it better. I will tell my friend, who is extremely afraid of rejection to visit this site. he just wont -at least- try to talk to a chick and most girls which is like 8/10 say he is good looking, I just don’t understand. Thank you man I think I also needed to hear this. (no homo but) I love you 4 saying that. long live Liegh (LoGun).

  13. Who ever wrote this is an idiot. Plan and simple idiot. He should never ever write again . Just saying. He’s way too bitter.

  14. I think the best way to avoid being rejected, is to be yourself, and be encouraged to talk with the person and be a little creative.

  15. I never approach women because many assume all men are rapists and will call the police / press charges if a guy so much as says ‘hi’. This happens a lot in America and case law is very much on women’s side. Rejection is one thing… risking reputation / career / community just by being friendly to another human being is another and it’s not worth it.

  16. I have never read so much bs in all my life. As male 5’3″ constantly being told how damn good looking I am then being told or rejected because of height.
    I had one beautiful woman who was like 5’9″ and told me she was addicted to hi heels and how would that work and I said lying down shouldn’t be a problem and as she and i stood up she looked down and bent over and said you are good looking you are just to fucking short for me gave a kiss and left.

  17. “Eventually, you’re going to meet one who isn’t attracted to you.” Since no woman is ever (or has ever been, or ever could be) attracted to me in the first place, this is purely academic for me. I talk to lots of women and don’t get ‘rejected’ by any of them, but nothing ever happens. I have lots of woman friends, but at 36 am still a virgin (and never even been kissed), so the logical conclusion is that no woman is sexually attracted to me – even though I am very sexually attracted to several women. Nothing I can do – I’m just meant to be this way I guess.

    • Arthur,

      Totally understand your logic there, and I feel for ya, but the central issue here is that you’re assuming that attraction happens automatically for everyone — without any effort. And that’s just not correct.

      That’s a bit like saying that I (who at 5’4″, am the shortest dating coach in the industry) suck at basketball and never practice and have never won a league basketball game so it’s just “meant to be” that I will never win at basketball because that’s just who I am.

      It has nothing to do with “who i am”. It has EVERYTHING to do with I’M NOT PRACTICING BASKETBALL. I can’t expect to win at basketball without practicing. That’s not how skill development works. You’re not a virgin because there’s something wrong with you. You’re a virgin because your social and dating skills are underdeveloped or neglected (or both) and you haven’t put in the time to learn them.

      So don’t lose hope — you CAN do something about it. You just have to want it bad enough to work at it.

      • I see your point – but this is still academic for me. It’s clear that I’m just about as unappealing as a guy could be to women at a sexual level, and that no amount of work could change this fact. I put over a decade of diligent work into trying to change this, but never got a single date. So, one day, I stopped asking altogether – I’m just through with constant rejection – that’s it. Over ten years is enough. Some of us are born with the mark of Cain, so to speak, and so are doomed to be alone forever.

      • Arthur,

        I’ve coached thousands of students over the last decade, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that a lack of results ALWAYS ties back to either practicing incorrectly or not practicing enough. I have NEVER EVER had a student who couldn’t achieve results… as long as he was willing to put in the work.

        You’ve put “ten years” into this, but are you doing the RIGHT ACTIONS? If not, 10 years of the wrong actions will invariably get you the WRONG results.

        Short of severe mental handicaps, I’ve never seen someone who is hopeless, assuming they’re willing to put in the work. The chances are astronomically low that you are an exception to that rule. When someone comes to me with a good work ethic, it changes from being a matter of IF they will succeed and becomes a matter of WHEN.

        The problems youre experiencing invariably come down to either effort or direction/training (or both). Assuming that it’s some god-given curse is a weak excuse made by weak men who would rather throw pity parties than stand up and do something about it. Your ability to succeed is entirely in your hands, Arthur. You just need to make up your mind to go after it.

  18. I’ll never sexually attract a woman because I can’t socialize – that’s my problem. There may well be lots women who would enthusiastically go on a date and have a relationship with me, but I’ll never know it because I just can’t ask them out.

    People’s advice – in person and online – Is always the same: ‘just get out more’. The fact is though, I do go out – but I can’t meet anyone if I can’t express what I want to women I’m attracted to. Friends tell me I have so much to say and so much to offer, and that I just need to be more confident. I am confident (and successful) in other areas of my life, but that makes no difference if I can’t show that to women. They say I need to talk to women just as people to get to know them, so I talk to them like I’m talking to any other friend – and end up getting friend zoned every time. As soon as a woman says we’re friends, I know nothing will happen. I have absolutely no problem meeting women and talking to them – I just can’t express sexual intent – I’m just not able to do it no matter what.

    No one seems to understand what guys like me go through – it’s torture. People think it’s so easy, and maybe it is – for them – because they are sexually attractive and are capable of showing it. I am neither of those things. Sadly there are many men like me – we’re the ones who are – and are doomed to remain chronically single.

  19. I do not see how talking to a barista at Starbuck’s or a waitress at a restaurant will help me overcome my overwhelming inability to approach women I’m attracted to. Of course these employees in device industry positions will be pleasant – it’s their job! If I saw and recognized the same women on the street, I’d fully expect them to reject me immediately – if not run away from me – like every other woman would. A person’s workplace behaviour toward clients is not an indication of their personality or preferences.

    As a very shy and introverted guy, I never ask women out – and never will – because rejection is always guaranteed. I’m not scared of rejection – it’s for sure going to happen with every / any woman I might approach. Given this, I see no point in doing something which is 100% guaranteed to be doomed to failure.

  20. DJ Fuji,

    I’m curious: when you say “Short of severe mental handicaps, I’ve never seen someone who is hopeless, assuming they’re willing to put in the work”, does a Nonverbal Learning Disability fit that definition? Because it sure as hell feels like it does. I’m literally unable to pick up on things like body language and tone of voice (I joke about my sarcasm being flawless because no one can tell when I’m being sarcastic). Confidence is little more than an abstract concept to me, and quite frankly, a useless one…I’ve accomplished far more by allowing self-doubt to translate into meticulous attention to detail when planning anything important. I’ve literally never been both confident and effective; it’s literally a choice between one or the other (and I have to choose the latter for obvious reasons). Womankind’s standard response to my disability is “You’re attractive, but there’s also something seriously off about you”, and in my urgency to find a method of attracting the love of my life, I’ve even tried the “be honest and tell them upfront” route (because there’s a 90% chance I won’t get a first date, much less a third). Nothing works, and quite frankly, the only thing failure with women teaches me is how to fail even more miserably with women (and how to be so “overqualified when it comes to life that you fail to succeed, even when your skills are in demand.)

    I mainly included the above to give you some insight into what NLD is like, even with therapy to manage the feelings of depression and worthlessness (because holding down 2 jobs, pursuing an education in the field I want to work in, getting a manuscript picked up by a publisher, lifting regularly and freelance resume writing are literally not enough)…and didn’t even scratch the surface. Quite frankly, the guaranteed method of avoiding rejection is sounding like a godsend right now.

    • I know this doesn’t count as a “reply” but try this
      Find a beautiful women and tell her you are attracted to her
      – why you are attracted to her
      – and then tell her what I want to happen next

  21. I am already taking this step. At 33m ive never had a girlfriend and have always been rejected. Next step is to find out what is it about me that had led to rejections.

  22. First of all, count your blessings. Next time you’re in text-flirt panic mode, just thank the stars that we’re hashtag blessed enough not to have grown up in a generation where you had to approach someone in a bar and be charming on the spot, all while looking right into the actual person’s eyes as they decide whether or not to reject you. I’m getting sweaty just thinking about it; it’s a wonder that the human race didn’t die off. Whisper a “thank you,” to your parents, take a deep breath, and follow these pointers.

  23. For some of us, intimacy of any sort literally requires monetary payment up front. I’m not proud of this, but twice in my life (I’m 35) I’ve paid for sex. Those two occasions are the only times I’ve ever had any form of intimate relations at all. The last time was 8 years ago. No woman could ever be interested in me, so it’s not worth trying to ask women out – rejection (or worse) is 100% guaranteed no matter what.

    It’s all very well to trot out generic lines like “Eventually, you’re going to meet [a woman]who isn’t attracted to you…” The fact is, I’ve never met a woman who IS attracted to me. Do you know how painful that is for a guy – as a human being – who wants to be with a woman who actually wants to be close to him? I’ll tell you: it’s lonely and miserable and at times, excruciating. But for me, that’s the way it is.

  24. Hi Leigh – thanks for the reference. It’s a Great article, but totally academic for me. There’s no way I could ever attract any woman no matter what I do – they just never see me as anything other than a friend. I’ve asked many woman friends what’s wrong with me, and they’ve all said there’s nothing wrong with me – I just need to ‘act sexual’. Unfortunately I can’t do that, so the terrible reality is that I’m a lost cause who will be alone forever.

  25. That’s true man!! Rejection can’t be avoided. I just got rejected by my crush. I was at first confident to get this girl because i have everything that women want in a guy. But damn it,she rejected me. I can’t even understand why I got rejected. I did everything smoothly from the start. If I had to compare myself to her ex, I would consider myself to be much better than him. I’m tall, good looking, have great social skills, smart & good personality. While her ex was short, fat, not “smart” (he actually got expelled from school because of a serious problem he made at school). So if you’re not probably physically attractive or tall or something like that, don’t feel sorry for yourself. Just accept it. Being tall, rich, socialable, good looking can’t be a guarantee. But of course you need to improve yourself.

  26. Hi Leigh – not sure how to communicate this to you – I read your article (that you quoted a link to twice) and it was of zero help to me. As I said, it’s a great article, but the fact is, no woman could ever be attracted to me no matter what I do. In dating, men compete against each other to be chosen by women as a mate. Since other guys are (or can be) a lot more attractive than I could ever be, it’s a sure thing that I will never be chosen. If you have any specific thoughts, great, but please don’t tell me to read an article again that I’ve already read.

    • Hey mate, it sounds to me like the issue isn’t the advice, it’s this belief that no matter what you do, women won’t be attracted to you. So, it doesn’t matter what advice I give, it won’t be of any use, because that belief will always get in the way.

      This means that in order for you to make progress, you first need to address that.

      Have you done much work on beliefs and how to overcome them?

  27. I get where you’re coming from Leigh, and appreciate your time in responding. But there is zero *evidence* that any woman has been / is attracted to me – that’s where my belief comes from. Many sources say that it’s actually women who make the ‘first move’ by giving guys they are attracted to signs they want to be approached. I have never gotten a sign from any woman in my life and that’s why I say what I do about there being no evidence any woman is attracted to me. Other guys get signals from women [who are attracted to them] – this is why I say other guys are more attractive than me (and thus get chosen).

    • How much do you think this belief about women is a self-fulfilling prophecy? Do you think being sad and frustrated by how women respond to you is making you more or less attractive?

  28. My belief is based on the fact that there is zero *evidence* that any woman has been / is attracted to me. Women don’t respond to me – at all – ever. If I say hello (and I hardly ever do any more), there is literally never any reaction. As I said, I have never gotten a sign from any woman in my life and that’s why I say what I do about there being no evidence any woman is/could be attracted to me. I honestly don’t think I can be attractive to women.

    • Once again: How much do you think this belief about women is a self-fulfilling prophecy? Do you think being sad and frustrated by how women respond to you is making you more or less attractive?

      You’ve made it clear that no advice will help you become more attractive because no woman could ever be attracted to you. The issue isn’t you not having the right advice, the issue here is that your belief about women not being attracted to you means that any advice you’re given falls on deaf ears. Without dealing with this beleif, there’s no point in any advice about how to be more attractive because your belief prevents you from accepting it. So, we have to deal with this first.

  29. Whether this is a vicious circle / self-fulfilling prophecy I don’t honestly know. What I do know is that I have no evidence that any woman is / has ever been attracted to me. As such, what else can I believe? Beliefs are based on evidence. I’ve tried to meet women in all kinds of venues and in all kinds of ways (classes, hobby groups, etc.), but nothing literally ever happens. My conclusion – based on years of evidence – is that I’m not attractive to women.

    • I wish you’d asked this question next week. I’m working on a new article that deals with this exact situation that’s a bit long to copy and paste here, but will be published soon.

      The short version is:

      You’re right. Your beliefs are based on evidence, but that evidence is a lie. Every single time. You can’t see everything, you can’t read people’s minds, and you can’t correlate the past with the present or future. Every belief you have about yourself and your abilities is a lie – both positive and negative – and living a life based on beliefs is a surefire way to spend the vast majority of your short existence on this earth just spinning your wheels in the same spot.

      You don’t know that no woman has ever found you attractive. I’m sure there are women that don’t know that you find them attractive and so you can’t just assume that because no woman has ever found you attractive. Just because no woman has undone your belt and placed your manhood in her mouth, it doesn’t mean that a woman hasn’t found you attractive. It just means that you weren’t aware of it.

      What this means for you and your situation is that as you can’t trust your beliefs, both positive and negative, you need to stop focussing on them. You need to accept that they exist and will always exist but they’re incomplete at best, and completely wrong in most situations, and that you need to focus on just moving towards the life you want, regardless of what your beliefs tell you how people will respond. You just have to let them be where they may, appear as they want, and decide to keep moving forward with your vision of your perfect life, regardless of what they say (both positive and negative).

      Now yes, there are things that go beyond beliefs. There are facts about our physical world and your ability to function in that physical world that do not and cannot change, but they’re not what we’re talking about here. We’re talking about your beliefs about yourself, your life experiences, and your life trajectory.

      That’s obviously a very quick snapshot to try and give you a basic understanding of an incomplete 7,000 word article, but it’s a start.

      Does that make sense and can you see where I’m going with it?

  30. I see where you’re going with the article. I respond that many pieces say clearly that interaction is actually often (usually?) initiated by women and that a guy should wait until he gets a signal from a woman before approaching her. A signal indicates that a woman is open to, and would welcome, an approach by a guy she finds attractive. It is these signals that constitute ‘evidence’ for me. Since I have never gotten any such signal from a woman, I take it that no woman would be open to / welcome me approaching her. So I don’t. An additional consideration is that I also don’t wish to invite an accusation against me, so in the absence of signals, I keep my feelings of interest to myself.

    • What you’re saying is true sometimes and not true other times. There have been times when women made it clear that they wanted me to talk to them and plenty of others where they didn’t even know I existed before I spoke to them. Both are true and not true at the same time.

      But, this is irrelevant right now because we’re back at the beliefs thing again. You believe that you haven’t gotten a signal from women but, you don’t know that’s true. You might be getting signals all the time but just don’t know what they are. Maybe you’re not getting them now, but maybe you got them in the past and were too stuck in your head being sad about the fact that women aren’t attracted to you to notice them. Or maybe you just did see them but didn’t realise they were signals and so ignored them, causing the women who were giving you signals to assume you weren’t interested and move on.

      Or maybe there were women who wanted to give you a signal but were too shy and stuck in their heads complaining that guys never find them attractive so what’s the point??

      You just don’t know. You’re only able to take in a tiny sliver of information available and process it through a faulty filter that produces biased results. This is why living your life based on your beliefs about yourself and your abilities is a pointless waste of time.

      Your problem isn’t your beliefs. It’s the fact that you believe your beliefs are true when they’re not and you’re letting them dictate how you live your life.

      The only way to live a truly empowering, exciting, rewarding life is to accept that your beliefs exist and allow them to exist, but simply refocus your attention back onto ‘What do I need to do to create the life I want?’ and keep powering forward.

      Does that make sense?

  31. I see what you’re saying, Leigh – and appreciate it. You’re right that I, as a rational person, cannot deny that signals may have been made to me in the past that I didn’t see, or that I saw them but didn’t recognize them for what they were. I also take your point that believing beliefs and living uniquely according to them is limiting. Quite apart from the fact that I can’t honestly see how any woman could be attracted to me (and so give me signals), I have no idea how to ‘recognize’ signals for what they are. If I could ‘see’ them, I’d still need to ‘believe’ – there’s that concept again – that what I’m seeing is what it is, and then act on it. Part of this comes from the reality that in this day and age, as a guy – as I said before – I also don’t wish to invite an accusation against me. In the absence of signals, I keep my feelings of interest to myself.

    • You’re doing really well, mate. I’m throwing a lot at you and you’re not getting defensive. You’re being really open to concepts that are completely foreign to a lot of people, which is FAR more than most people would in your situation.

      This thread is getting huge and I think it’ll be far easier to track in the forum. Can you sign up there and start a thread from where we’ve left off? You’ve mentioned something in your last reply which I think is where we can start digging into the core of your issues.

  32. I don’t see why I’d get defensive – I’m a rational person and you’re being very helpful and responding in a non-judgemental way. Thank you for all of this. I’ve signed up, btw.

  33. This is a topic that my friends and I debate pretty much every day. First I am going to describe the last time I have tried to approach a girl in person and what happened. This is just the LAST time – I can go on for days but I will try to keep this answer as short as possible.

    I was in a nice Italian restaurant recently. The vibe there seemed very friendly and people were open to conversation. Against my better judgement, I decided to experiment. Made eye contact with a pretty girl (on the outside) sitting at another table. She was with her friends, and I was with mine. Figured I would give it a shot. I did not want to walk up to their table, so I brought our waiter over to send a message. As a little light icebreaker, I asked him to go over to their table and buy them a round of water. I thought this would lighten the mood and perhaps open up a dialogue. I also wrote a little note that said something along the lines of, “This one is on us, you guys look fun, and we would like to get to know you. Can we buy you guys a real round at the bar after dinner?” Cute right? Well it was not well received by her. The waiter was laughing and putting the waters down, pointed to us and said “this round is on them”, and dropped the note at the same time. Within about 15 seconds, as the drinks dropped, and she read the note, SHE DUNKED THE NOTE IN THE WATER, CRUMBLED IT UP INTO A BALL AND THREW IT AS HARD AS SHE CAN AT MY HEAD, AND IT HIT ME SQUARE IN THE FACE! Her friends were cracking up laughing and my crew was basically embarrassed in front of the whole restaurant. Not to mention the fact that if I had thrown a wet crumpled paper at her, it’s pretty certain I would have been charged with assault – because that is what it is.

    Why would I continue to suscept myself to this? Wherever we go, the girls are in their little corner taking selfies and videos of themselves, and ignoring all the guys around them, in their own little world. They will then most likely post these pictures to instagram, and immediately get hundreds of guys drooling over them. To me that is one of the issues. They dont need the guy to compliment them in person, they would rather get the gratification electronically. Literally every time we go out, the girls are spending more time recording Snapchat videos and taking pictures of themselves then socializing with themselves, not men. Then, when men approach them, they shun them to make themselves feel better about….themselves?

    I simply ask a girl at the gym if she is using the equipment she is near, and I get dirty looks! OK I get it, women dont want to be approached by guys for whatever reason but there is no reason to be mean for simply and politely asking a legitimate question !

    And these same women complain that they can’t find a “good guy”!

    I am a good guy – I do not feel that I am entitled to anything from anyone. I have my own business, never been in trouble, and treat everyone with respect. I act politely and respectfully towards women at all times – and all I get is rudeness and nastiness – every time.

    I’ve had it. I don’t deserve that treatment for being a gentlemen.

  34. I just talk to women I think are attractive and look fun. Maybe the answer is just not to bother any more? None of them seem to ever want to talk to me.

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